I usually try to find more mysterious and/or interesting ways of putting things..but it's almost 4am and it's been too hard a day so I don't care. I hate cancer! I've been crying off and on for a few days now. I can't understand why one of my best friends in the world, one of the most spiritually solid guys I know, has to have cancer. I thought he was ok now. But we just learned things are more serious now..the treatment is more intense now. I only have about a week and a half before he has to be admitted to the hospital and we may not be face to face again for a long time (Even with the best possible outcome). I feel so sad off and on that I don't know how to just do normal life. I want to be there to talk or whatever he needs til he has to go. And I'm scared things will turn out horribly. They may not, but I'm still sad for all He'll face.
I know God has this though..nothings out of His control. And I know God's way is best..His justice, His plans..all perfect. Beyond what I could ever understand. I just wish I could understand for now..more important, I wish my friend could. But I feel bad for asking "Why him, God?", as if I'm saying I know better or God has done something wrong. Neither of those is true at all, I know. It's just all I can seem to wonder at brief times. I pray He can have mercy on my weakness here.
So I'll just keep praying..for my friend more than anything: for healing, for strengthened (not shaken) faith, for unimaginable peace, for the feeling of his loving Father's embrace. And, to a lesser degree, for us..the people who love him. To know how to care for someone kind of out of reach. To not lose hope. To be able to keep going on when we need to.
~~Give me the faith, to believe in these hard times~~
Through God are ALL things possible.
