Monday, December 26, 2011

"Because His Daughter was Real..."

Back to young adult group tonight; it was nice. Got to chat with an old friend from work/school who I don't see much, plus got to be with some other friends. We watched a video and had a discussion that were pretty impactful. The video showed the funeral of a man who died from a heart attack after spending his last few years living hardcore for Christ. Person after person talked about him and the loving, big things he'd done for them. One of them was a teenage girl who had met him at a shelter. She had thought his kindness must be fake, that he seemed to good to be true or something, like it had to just be an act. But ultimately, impacted by her dad's love, the man's daughter had come to care for and humbly reach out to the girl, apologize for previously treating her badly. The girl said something like, "I knew her father was real because his daughter was real, and through him I knew that the Lord was real." This line possibly struck me more than anything else in the video--and it was a very powerful video.

Would anybody "know my Father is real because I'm real?" I feel like people who know me most would say I'm a Christian, I love Jesus, that kind of stuff. I'd say most people who kind of know me would say I'm at least nice, kind of the "good girl" type, whatever you want to call it. Some who don't know me would probably say I'm Christian purely because they know I belong to a Christian group on campus (some I tell, some just seem to know..one of the creepy joys of being moderately involved in student gov). But how much could anybody look at me and say, "Wow, there HAS to be some truth to that God she believes in..nothing else explains the love this girl has for people." I don't really know, maybe this would never be the case for everybody who knows me. But shouldn't there be more reality to this than there is now? Being a nice person, even a VERY nice person, has nothing on being a true follower, an otherwise messed up person whose deep, lived-out love can only be explained by a greater power..by an even more loving and perfect God.

I have so much stuff going on/that will possibly be going on soon..and I'm not sure what living like I'm talking about here looks like in all cases. One of my closest friends is going through some serious mental stuff..I'm concerned for her safety..I don't want to say more than that on here. I know she needs help beyond what she really wants..what can I do? what SHOULD I do?  I've just been appointed service director for an honor society I'm a part of; I want to use this position to honor God in major ways, but what specifically does THAT look like? How much can I even do in this kind of group?  I juggle school, friends, family (including a younger sister that I haven't been there for enough in recent years)..what does a good balance of these and other things even look like? I WANT to know..I just don't fully. I hope in time I will..


"Let the songs, I sing, bring praise to You. Let the words I say confess my love. Let the notes, I choose, be Your favorite tune. Father, let my heart be after You."

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