This Will End, Good Will Come

"This will end, good will come." Words I keep replaying in my head. Even when I struggle and don't know why and don't know what's ahead, I can trust that my God works out all things for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Thankful for that, thankful for Him, and thankful for a beautiful, amazing mom who speaks love and truth into my life<3

"...weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." Psalm 30:5

New

Sometimes it is necessary to leave the old in pursuit of the better new. Seeing that new is better though, I find myself not fully getting why the parts of the old that weren't bad can't move into the new. Maybe to some extent they can..it stands to be seen/understood I guess. But maybe some of the decent parts of the old have to just stay with the old sometimes..because the new has to be, well, totally new. It can be hard to let things go, but I guess it just comes down to trusting the One holding both new and old to work it out for the ultimate good whatever that looks like.

"Blessed be Your Name"

God, You sustain, You restore, and Your plans are good and Your will is best..Your ways and thoughts aren't ours--they are above ours. I pray these will truths will be seen through whatever You choose to do with this situation. I will praise You whatever, even if out of a wounded heart; it is YOU who makes me whole..to whom else could I ever go? Only You can give me life. You know the desires of my heart, and I pray that, if You will, You will grant them..in whole, or in part if that is what You want. But I pray that YOUR will be done, not mine. Let my desires come to be only inasmuch as they align with what Your will calls for. Thank you for Your goodness and love, and for sustaining me day by day in the waiting, in the uncertainty--in every season of my life, even when (please forgive me) I've failed to recognize it.

<3

Amen.

Life is Like an Art Gallery..

The thought hit me today (as partially inspired by a movie clip and partially inspired by my own life and a recent conversation) that things that happen in our life are like a bunch of little, up close pictures. Behind the wall that holds the pictures lies the rest of the image. We try to guess the whole, huge picture from the little ones so much of the time, to know what it all looks like, to help us make sense of the little pieces. But only the gallery's Maker, the Artist, knows that. Someday He may tell us, maybe. But for now we are to walk through His gallery, appreciating each little picture for what it is, trusting that His skill and care make it all come together for the good.

I Promise..

I promise..

to do all I can to make you feel like the amazing man I believe you are, to help you be confident in the man God made you.

to never make you doubt that I love you again, to try and surprise you with how much I love you on a regular basis.

to encourage you in Christ and remind you to take strength and comfort in Him and His immeasurable love for you.

to support you in all you do, to believe in you always, even when you doubt yourself.

to defend and build you up to others.

to stand by you and be on your side.

to try to make you feel better when I can't.

to trust you to lead the way..cause I know you can.

Thank you for..

Taking care of me when I didn't feel well..more than once.
Staying with me when I felt lonely.
Surprising me with things.
Little notes to try to cheer me up when I was in a bad mood.
Hugging me when I cried.
Being silly with me and taking my teasing.
Being my best friend.


I can remember the bad times, but I can't still feel old hurts, just the good you were for me..I'm sorry you can only look back and see mostly bad now:'( I almost wish I could do the same so I could stop feeling so sad now that you're gone. I pray that healing can occur and we can be together again..so I can show you how much I love you and you can believe it. I'd sacrifice so much for you, to make you feel loved and stronger, to let you see you in the amazing light that I do. For now I just cry and pray..He's got this even though it feels like heart-crushing chaos :'(

"Oh, how'd we get so disconnected?
My heart is shutting down, oh I just can't let it.

So I'll run forward and pray you fall back,
Grace will come and clear your path
Yeah I'll run forward and you fall back,
Come back"    ~Audrey Assad, Run Forward.

</3

:'(

Whoever said the whole "It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all" thing was crazy. I can't possibly believe that right now. My heart is crushed and I wish if I could not have kept the man I love that I had never have fallen in love. It took long..I didn't just fall carelessly into it..it took me over a year to get how deeply I loved him. And he told me he'd never end it..but then decided he had to. I feel like God must have something planned for this, but the pain is so hard to bear. I don't understand how I can heal..all my time being sad and single never hurt like this. Being afraid of never finding someone is bad, thinking you've found him and then having him taken away is excruciating. Praying that God will help me see, more real than ever, that He can do the impossible..I know it, but now I'm scared to be worthlessly in love and pain forever, and to never find the love I not only longed to have, but to give. I really want to love and support a godly man..I wanted to be with him through any struggle. Praying..praying..praying :'(



"Set me like a star before the morning
Like a sun that steals the darkness from a world asleep
And I'll illuminate the path You've laid before me
But for now just let me be"